The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love carries immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

When page problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry review is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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